Eureka on Dad’s Notebook

Proposition:  my joy,

Since i could not avail myself with any opportunity i then could only writtenly express myself to you… for occasion seems to be hostile to the intention which i have longed to impart.  Also, sometimes a feeling of hesitation comes within me for i could foresee the consequences of this revelation, if, by chance, you’ll take this act of mine as a mere joke of my love ventures.  Nevertheless, to keep this instinctive emotion only by myself will no doubt lead me to nowhere.

In the past years of my life, never have i known a person of such character as you have.  i’m very proud to have met a person like you.  In a manner of speaking, it seems to me that i have already known you for a very long period of time, even if we have met and have known each other for only a short period, ago.

…it may be surprising but i think i’m in love with you… i don’t just think that i am in love with you but i know and i am certain that i do.  this must be surprising to you, but it surprised me also when i came to think that i was missing you than what i shoud have felt naturally.

Very surprising indeed.  But isn’t love very noble? to fall in love is not to like someone for her brains or beauty alone but it is in its true sense – self giving which is primarily based on trust and understanding.

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**This is composed by my Dad, probably, when he was on his teenage years. I guess nineteen years of age or probably early twenties. I really do not know. Grammars are not edited to preserve originality of what my Dad wanted to express to the recipient/s of this letter. I found his notebook while cleaning the house years ago.. Didn’t tell him about it and up until now, I claimed it to be my possession. He probably didn’t know until today that I do have his three notebooks, and I am not going to tell him anyway. It was weird, back teenage years, I also do not capitalize my ‘I’ when writing.. And yes, this isn’t a letter for my Mom. I asked Mom if this was for hers, she said it’s not. She said it’s for my Dad’s ex. Mom’s answer is without jealousy and envy.. So probably, that’s what love is. Self giving, trust and understanding.

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266 thoughts on “Eureka on Dad’s Notebook

  1. Mon, waiting for this?

    Anyways, I spent my three hours last night looking for the Roam magazine kuya Dong Ho delivered to my office some months back. I hate it, I’ve only read the magazine halfway and now.. it’s missing.

    I wonder where that magazine is. Asked everybody in the house and either they do not recognize the magazine or they do not know.

    Like

  2. That’s nice. I can’t imagine your father writing that! 😀 Kala ko mahilig lang siyang magkumpuni ng electrical devices/appliances 😀

    What’s? the cam? Anyway, it doesn’t matter 🙂

    Like

  3. ahhh… ang ganda naman, pag binasa mo parang nararamdaman mo na rin yung nararamdaman nung nagsulat… alabet!!!

    mas epektib pa rin yung loveletter noh?… uhmm ehh baka sa akin lang haha!

    Like

    1. honga, mas epektib ang love letter. yung mga traditional setup.. (setup daw oh.) hehe.

      actually di ko inedit yung mga grammar.. oks lang, hehe. mukha namang okay kahit walang edit yung letter.

      Like

  4. wow, no doubt, kya magaling ka din magsulat kasi may pinagmanahan. hehehe. apir! at dahil jan may nagtext. hahaha. adik!!! have a nice day axo.. hehehe. =)

    Like

          1. hahahaha, all out confessions pa naman mga nakalagay sa diary ko. noong umalis nga ako sa tagaytay, daladala ko kaya excess baggage ako pagdating sa airport.

            dinala ko sa davao ung mga diaries ko. then, di ko iniwan sa bahay, hahaha. mahirap na baka mabasa ni madir.

            kaya dala-dala ko dito sa isla…

            Like

    1. haha.

      wahaha. sige, father Fiel, itago mo na yung mga diaries mo.. nakakatakot siguro yung mga laman niyan.. mga kwento tungkol sa iyong singlehood. joke lang!

      Like

            1. noong high school ganyan ang mga sinulat ko. pero later on, ang dami palang pwedeng isulat sa loob ng isang araw — ang nakasalubong mo sa daan, the person who inspired you that day, ang pagsakay mo sa dyep, ang pinanood mo sa tv, ang bagong nag-add sa u sa fb, mga feelings mo of the day, etc.

              Like

            2. akala ko dati, tungkol sa pag-ibig at pagkakaibigan lang ang pwedeng isulat. kase noong elementary (lower years), yung mga teacher ko ang laging topic ng essay namin ay love and friendship.

              what is the name of your friend, describe him/her.
              how can you show love?
              is love blind?
              are dogs the man’s best friend?

              yan yung mga pinapasulat sa amin dati noong grade 4 and 5 ako..

              Like

  5. nakanaman.

    ang naaalala ko lang eh puro kwento ang bahagi ni daddy. yung mga lumang notebook na nakukuha ko kay daddy puro planner. puro schedules ng work.

    papakita mo ba yan sa daddy mo?

    ax late na ko d2 nako naman.

    Like

  6. kailangan ko palang sunugin ang mga porn magazines natin dahil makikita lang ng mga anak natin…just like u, i also took posession of my dad’s periodicals.

    anyway, parang si ax sumulat…maraming words…walang meaning

    Like

    1. haha, di ko kase inedit yan.. feeling ko naman ni-rewrite ng daddy ko yan bago niya sinulat ulit. hehe, yung notebook kase puro letters lang ang laman. pwede ko pala gawing compilation!

      Like

      1. hm, actually hindi talaga kami magkahawig. i can say mas maganda rin ang sulat ko. haha.

        actually, kuya ko at daddy ko ang magkahawig ang sulat. oo! mas magkapareho yung handwritten nila!

        Like

  7. grabe ax.. galing naman ng article na to… di ko maisip if ako ang nasa situation na ganyan someday na makikita ko ang notebook ng asawa ko para sa ex nya… ahmm. pero very brave nga naman ng mom mo… tama ka .. that is love…

    two thumbs up para sa post na to!!

    Like

  8. Yah! Bakit kasi di na uso ang mga love letters? Uso na ang ligaw-text kaya ayun, uso na rin ang basted-text.

    Intense mag-sulat ang tatay mo. 🙂 Parang makalaglag-panty. Buti na lang, nagkatuluyan sila ng nanay mo. Kung hindi, naku, baka alang blog na tulad nito. 🙂

    Like

    1. Oo nga, kapag text ang hirap mag-archived. Haha, aw, nahihiya naman ako bakit ko pinublished yung letter ng dad ko. Hehe.

      At malaking tama ka, pag wala sila, wala rin tong blog na’to.

      Ako ang karma ng mga magulang ko. Haha.

      Like

      1. Ay sus, nahiya pa. Ang mga bagay na ikinahihiya, di ginagawa. e kung nagawa na? no choice kundi ipagmalaki diba? ala na namang sense ata ang comment ko dahil bangag na naman ako. 🙂

        Bahhhhkeeehhht ka naman naging karma ng mga magulang mo?

        Like

  9. hehehe, ganyan din kaya pag mababasa ng mga anak natin mga blog natin?

    anyway, mana ka nga sa dad mo. magaling din magsulat.

    at teka nga? ano hinahanap mo noong naghalungkat ka?hahaha hmmmm….

    Like

  10. It really runs in the blood Ax.

    I know your father since grade-school and he is the silent one….

    With deep thoughts..

    Salute Salute!!

    Like

    1. Biohazard, oo nga! Kayo nila Jayr at Fauxx, eh, kilala ng personal si daddy!.. at to think na magkapitbahay lang tayo! Ayos din dad mo, di ba tawag natin sa isa niyong bahay dati ay ‘hideout.’ hehe.

      Like

  11. hahahaha. this is cute but a little weird. i can’t imagine you telling same lines personally.

    …….to love is to pursue everything the feeling requires without encouragement. that is my say.

    Like

  12. alam mo may pinagmanahan ka ax?!! ALAM na! haha.. grabe dinugo din ako sa love letter ng teenage life ng iyong dad. haha.galing!. Ang tanong eh mukang di niya ata iyan naibigay kasi nakuha mo pa nga eh.. hehe. sayang naman. feeling ko nga sa mama mo pa din yan, hindi na lang niya naibigay kasi sinagot na xa.. oii.. nagaanalize ako haha. 🙂

    New blogentry 🙂

    Like

    1. naibigay nya ata.. actually, isa lang itong draft.. kase nung binasa ko yung notebook, paulit ulit niyang sinulat yan.. tapos nag-iba iba din yung thoughts niya kada draft. feeling ko ito yung pinaka edited version, kaya eto na lang ang pinublished ko..

      haha, pwede rin yung analization mo! haha! galing, galing!

      Like

  13. Galing naman…

    Probably some little grammatical nips and tucks here and there, but the writing is fluid and sincere… 🙂

    Nasabi na nila, pero sasabihin ko pa rin, may pinagmanahan ka nga… 🙂

    I can relate to Fr. Fiel although I don’t keep diaries. What I have are writing notebooks since high school… In this computer age, I still find it comfortable to write in pen and paper rather than type… 🙂 At ang dami ko na ring notebooks…

    Like

    1. Tama, mas mabuting naging faithful ka sa true form ng sulat: raw, fluid and sincere… 🙂

      Pwede namang mabasa yun, kaso lang, they are very raw drafts… May mga entries na one line lang na naisip at naisulat ko… And when the time comes na kailangang magsulat na ako ng isang full-length entry, dun nagagamit ang pinagtagpi-tagping one liners… 🙂

      Like

      1. yay, pareho tayo. minsan, yung mga dating sinulat eh yun yung pang ending o introduction ng mga sinusulat ko.

        hindi yan erotic stories ha. joke lang!

        Like

          1. hm, wala po eh..! tapos pag nasa opis ako kung ano ano yung sinusulat ko tapos sinesend ko through intramail sa mga kabatchmates ko at sa mga kaibigan ko.

            natutuwa daw sila.. yung simpleng pagpasok ko sa opis. yung nakasabay ko sa jeep. yung iniisip ko. hehe, kaya natutuwa sa akin yung iba sa akin sa opis. hehe.

            Like

    2. honga, di ko na inedit kuya Mark, mas maganda siguro na kung paano ko nakita yung sulat, eh, ganun ko din siya dito ipre present. Hehe.

      haha, pwede ko ba basahin yang mga notebooks mo?! sige na!

      Like

  14. Aww. Awesome. Wala akong makita rito sa bahay kundi mga sulat na pinagsusulat ko eh. Hohoho. Ang cute naman, parang super pure nung intention nung letter. Naive and simple. Kyaaaa.

    Hi Kuya Ax. I’m back in the blogging scene. Lol.

    Like

  15. wow lek, i didn’t know na si tito pala ay nagsusulat ng love letter.. pero dapat in-assume na din natin yan kasi minsan din silang naging katulad ng edad natin…

    thank you pala sa paglagay mo ng link ng blogsite ko sa WEB.. ek-ek mo.. I appreciate it!

    Like

  16. hmm, silent type but a serious lover, nakakainggit tlga mga girls nung araw. wen luv strikes unto ur dad, he let his pen speak for itself (& i wont be surprise if ur dat type too).

    and galeng ni dad mo! im a fan.. 😉

    Like

  17. idol pala si daddy e

    haha

    nice

    naalala ko before yung loveletter na ginawa ko, tinapon ko na, nakita ko binabasa ng tatay ko. hinablot ko agad hahaha

    Like

    1. no, not at all. not a single glitch of pain i can see from my mom’s. these are letters of my dad’s. his emotions and work of masterpiece when he was a teenager. he may remember the girl, but he does not remember the feeling he had once. and mom does not fret losing my dad over these letters.. and about your question, these are my dad’s memories so i am keeping this forever.

      OT: yeah, saw on the book it was English III. probably, he was 18 or 19 years old.

      Like

  18. Ang galing naman, naitago pa ang mga notebooks!!!
    Masarap balikan ang mga notes, lalo na yung mga scribbles hehehe minsan nakapagtaka kung paano mo naisip ang mga iyon toinks

    Like

  19. oh..wow..how i wish i could read those notebooks. do you find it freaky when you read all these, and see yourself in them. hmmm… you’re dad is very romantic and well-versed. seems really cool!

    Like

    1. indeed, i saw a part of me in these notebooks.. but i would say, my brother really did get all my dad’s traits and attributes. i could be wrong..

      yup, though i believe, every one of us has this romanticism blood running through our veins.

      Like

  20. waw! love letter ni itay! hehehe…
    pakita mo sa kanya, matutuwa un. hahaha 🙂
    pag nagliligpit ako ng mga lumang gamit, nagtatagal dahil may nakita kang magpapaalala ng old memories. pag nakita yan ng tatay mo, ano kaya reaksyon nya?

    Like

    1. even me, pag nagligpit ako ng kwarto, wala pahinto hinto kase tinitingnan mo yung mga bagay na magpapaalala sa’yo ng iba pang bagay bagay at mapapaisip ko.

      ayun, huminto ang mundo mo.

      di ka na nakapaglinis. ganitong ganito ako!

      Like

  21. you have a pretty wild mind, Ax. continue searching for answers and feel free to share… sometimes i wonder what if i am a dream of someone dreaming in his sleep..haha!

    Like

  22. how romantic…. kitang-kita ang traditional na pagsabi ng nararamdaman… wala paring kupas tlaga ang loveletters ano?…sa panahon ngayon isa na yang kayamanan na dapat ingatan…hahaha, ang chessy ko.

    Like

  23. ang galing at ganda naman…haysss!

    i used to write luvletters, as well, yes ganun ako ka romantic. sayang marami dito inanod na ng baha…

    ….kung sabagay ok na rin yun…wala naman akong anak, katulad mo AX, na magbabasa nito…

    …alam ko na alam mo!

    Like

    1. hm, so kailangan may emphasis. yay. okay, quiet lang naman ako ah! hehe. well, oo nga, sweet ka nga sa mga love letters! no doubt.. ang isang kuya Blu ay napagaling gumawa ng loveletter!

      Like

      1. Hindi naman.

        Pwede ka ring gumawa don ng artikulo kung paano pumatay ng Kulisap sa pamamagitan ng pagpapalakol pero hindi tatalsik ang dugo. Ganyan.

        Like

  24. your discovery reminds me of my own siguro mga more than a decade ago pero it was a book of quotes with doodles by my dad and mom. certainly made me feel good that i can connect to whatever it was it happened — the doodling. siguro that’s the emptiness that some adopted people have of their roots. it might be a glimpse because i can never feel what they feel.

    Like

    1. the feeling that was preserved inside a notebooks’ writings. yun yung priceless talaga! kahit cheesy, nakakatawa, maraming maling grammar, malungkot.. ano pa man yun, eto yung mga bagay na hindi matutumbasan kahit notebooks na gawa sa ginto pero walang nakasulat.

      it’s like i have time travelled.. and i knew, i was meant to witness a speck of life of what my dad was back then.

      Like

  25. there’s an uncanny resemblance in your writing style with your dad’s. 🙂

    napaisip tuloy ako, what will your own children discover when they look through your things many years from now? Or would they find everything on the net? hehehe.

    Like

    1. hello, ms. kaye! oo nga ano, like your kids.. ayan, makikita na nila ang mga sinusulat niyo years from now.. hehe. everything is on the net, i hope, wag malugi ang wordpress.. i doubt naman.

      🙂

      Like

      1. ako, mahilig ako magsulat eh… yung panganay ko nababasa na niya. yun ngang mga sinusulat ko sa blog ko noon sa friendster na nilipat ko dito sa friendster, nagrereply siya e lalo tungkol sa kanya yung topic. hehehe…

        do you keep a journal at home? wag mo itapon para may mabasa din mga kids mo in the future. 🙂

        Like

            1. ha? parang hindi naman..para ngang nkatayo lang kayo dun e..tapos nakita ko na lang pasakay na kayo sa jip..

              before pa un, xe mas nauna kayo dun sa spot..nakilala na agad kita..tapos napalakas p nga ata ung sabi ko na..aun ata si ax o, ung crush ni precious..tas napatingin kasama mo..kaya aun..haha..

              Like

            2. ah, ok..san b ofce mo? dun n lng sa my rcbc kita nakita..at ok k nman nun,,hindi nakikipagharutan..hehe

              2 to 10 ka din no..
              pepel sepert kb>

              Like

            3. ah, okay. ako nga yon. pm shift kase ako ngayon.. tapos may kasama ako, naka white shirt at naka back pack. maingay kase ako nung lumabas kami ng building tapos lahat ng opismate ko, nagb b bye ako tapos tinatawag ko.. hehe.

              tapos yung kasama ko, gumaganti, kinikiliti ako sa tuhod!

              Like

            4. nope, i am not from people support.. you have said my building on the comments above.. hehe.

              ayown, buti naman di mo ako nakita na maharot nung time na yown. haha. kulit kase ng kasama ko.. gumaganti sa akin kase inaaway ko. haha. tapos, nagbibigay pa ako sa kanya ng bente, pamasahe namin.. dagdagan na lang niya para mag taxi kami. aw. ayown, medyo mahirap sumakay ng jeep nung time na yon.

              Like

            5. ah, taga rcbc ka lang pala..
              sows..sakto…manlibre ka ng kape..hehe

              oo, may event kase..dun lahat puntahan mga tao..kame nga naglakad simula paseo e..

              Like

            6. joyz, if my memory serves me well, d last tym wev tokd ws d tym i told u i saw this guy (d 2nd tym). den, u told me, “i love him na”. now what? dnt put me in an akward situation. wer ol friends hir. ur unbelievable.

              im not mad in any ways. im just..

              =speechless mode=

              Like

            7. FREE,ala, laglag din ako..haha..nagulat lang talaga ako..churi naman friend..peace tau ah..hehe

              AKSO, ayaw mo nun, kaw pinakavisible na blogger..hehe..masaya nga un e..

              Like

            8. uy, sa totoo lang, nahihiya na ako sa inyo kase nakikita niyo ako. waah! parang nakakahiya, ayoko ng maging maligalig talaga.. haha, may isa pang nakakita sa akin din at confirmed nga na ako. hehe! opismate naman ng kaibigan ko ng college na nagbabasa din ng blog ko. aw. magbabagong anyo na nga ako!

              Like

  26. wow! umaabot ng 200 plus reactions dito a. btw, pansin ko lang talaga sa mga tao noon, ang gagaling sa Ingles… ang lalim… at ang galing. kung may blog na noon, for sure yun gagamitin ng erpat mo. hehe

    Like

    1. uy, ayown, hehe. comments, wala lang yan.

      uhm, oo nga. ang gagaling nila mag-english. haha. actually, sabi ng tito ko sobrang gagaling daw ng propesor dati. pag english, englishan din.. aba, tiningnan ko yung iba nilang class pictures, kaya naman pala, may mga american na teacher dati.. hehe.

      siguro nga nagblog din yung mga daddy/mommy natin dati kung meron na neto. hehe.

      Like

  27. I’m baaaaack. Di pa rin tapos ng thesis. Pero nag-eencode nako.

    I have been busy with my thesis these past few weeks that I failed to visit your blog every now and then. Btw, watch out for my new entry tomorrow. For sure, it will be a “love-me-or-hate-me” post. Want a clue? Ok… Noynoy

    Like

    1. Tapusin mo na thesis mo. Hehe, sorry pag di ako nakakareply sa tanong mo sa thesis mo ha.. Hehe. Anyways, tanong ka lang, hanggang kaya naming sagutin, sasagot kami dyan sa thesis mo! hehe.

      At ang Noynoy artic mo, sige hihintayin ko yan.

      Like

  28. i just wonder kung rough draft pa lang ‘yan ng dad mo and kung naibigay niya yung real copy sa ex niya..haha..marami kasi sa atin diba, di binibigay yung mga ginagawang love letter..newey, your dad writes really great english.. 😀

    Like

    1. feeling ko draft lang yan.. sunod sunod kase yung page na ganyan yung sulat.. naiba lang ng unti, may inibang words, may siningit.. pero di ko alam yung final draft. hehe. i think binigay niya yung love letter, kase there comes a page in the notebook na sumagot ulit yung dad ko. hehe.

      Like

          1. hehe..sabgay..cguro ganun din mafifil ko..
            pero kung ako cguro ang mom mo..il get jealous p dn..hehe..kahit ako na ung pinli..selfish ako e..harhar

            Like

            1. ewan ko..i dont know..maybe il just wait for that moment to come,,hehe

              gusto ko mafil ung contentment and the satisfaction na there is someone beside me loving and accepting the whole me..

              Like

            2. haha, yay, dapat di ka na nagseselos! well, i think if we get a little older, we will become a lot more understanding..

              siguro kapag nagkapamilya na, we will be a lot more gentle and trusting to the family who keeps us going.. we will hold to the bonds.. hehe, feeling ko kapag may pamilya na ang isang tao, yung mga simpleng selos na yan, mawawala na yan. hehe.

              Like

            3. masarap maghintay if ure expecting something na really feasible..

              but actually, patience is not my virtue..ehehe

              kaw, cno hinhntay mo? kelangan pbng maghntay to get something better o mas ok na luk for it na lng..

              Like

  29. And I can only imagine your dad’s face if ever he sees that. 😛 I mean, if I ever have kids and one of them sees any of my journal entries, I think I would either give them away to strangers (the kids), or sell myself to some kind of underground mafia in need of a slave. 😛

    Like

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