King of 2:53 a.m.


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Shirt Disorder: I Think Ergo I am

Be ready because this is a bomehian style writing.

The moon was broken in half. I cant sleep yet. I closed my eyes. The dogs’ howling clogged my lips. The windows invites me outside. I looked at the moon. I looked at the pool. I opened a soda. I lie onto the bed. I searched for good dreams. Yeah, I can’t sleep yet.

When you open a beer, you make simple words so beautiful. And so I drink the soda I was holding in my hand– because when beautiful words are uttered, you gave a fairy some disillusionment. And when a poem is offered to a fairy, she will lose her trail in the woods.

I drank the soda in my hand.

I get out of bed. But the moon is gone. This is what happens when you search for good dreams. You take it away from the moon. You selfish poet who gets everything that is good and beautiful.

I feed the radio with a cassette tape. It nauseated a classical song. It was dark outside, and so is the room. The music then breathes sepia colors. But the music stops. And so I am. I search for good dreams. I realized the outer space is not a bad place to search for good things.

The next night, the moon was nowhere to be found.

Ang Pag-Ulan ng Bulalakaw

May nagsabi sa akin na kapag humiling ka sa bulalakaw, magkakatotoo ‘yon. Mula noon, pangarap ko na makakita ng isang bulalakaw. Kahit isa lang.

Maraming gabi ang nagkumot sa aking panaginip. Maraming ulap ang inagos ng hangin. Kung gaano kadilim ang silid ko sa tuwing papatayin ko ang ilaw ay ganoon din kadilim ang katuparan ng aking pangarap. Hindi pa rin ako makatsamba ng isang lumilipad at umaapoy na bato sa langit. Naisip ko ang maghintay.

Naghintay ng naghintay.

Maraming taon ang lumipas, dumating sa punto na nakalimutan ko na ang pangarap at nawala sa isipan ko ang tungkol sa bulalakaw. Isang gabi, naalala ko ulit ang tungkol dito. Kaya noong gabi na ‘yon ako ay naghintay. Naghintay at nakatulog.

Lumipas ulit ang maraming araw. At lumipas ang mga buwan at mga taon. Hindi ko namalayan na nawala na ulit sa aking isipan ang tungkol sa kahilingan sa bulalakaw.

Hanggang sa may isang bata ang nagkasakit. Kaya sa aking ulirat ay natagpuan ko ang kasagutang sasagip sa batang iyon.

Noong gabi ring ‘yon, sinabi ko sa sarili ko na ako ay makikipagsapalaran. Humiga ako sa bubong at sinabi sa sarili na aangkinin ko ang langit. Hindi ko kailangan na maghintay dahil matagal na akong hinihintay ng langit upang ipakita ang isang bulalakaw na tila ay isang balyena na lumalangoy sa alapaap.

Habang nakatitig ako sa kawalan, pakiramdam ko na ang lahat ng bituin ay nag-aalay ng sarili nilang mga kuwento.

Sa kalagitnaan ng pagbabagong anyo ng buwan ay hindi ko alintana ang tagal at ang lungkot ng kadiliman. Hindi ko pansin ang dilim ng aking puso.. At may isang bulalakaw ang nahulog. Hindi ako gumalaw. Hindi na ako nag-isip.

Isang nahuhulog na bulalakaw sa gilid ng aking balintataw ang inimbak ko sa aking huwisyo.

Humiling ako na gumaling na ang batang may sakit.

Lumipas ang gabi at nabalitaan ko na namatay na ang batang inalalayan ko ng kahilingan noong gabi na may bumagsak na bulalakaw.

Nalungkot ako. Nagalit sa mundo. Sinumpa ang langit.

At nahulog ang libo libong bulalakaw sa aking mga mata. At sumuklob ang gabi sa aking puso. At mula noon, wala nang kupas ang mga bituin dahil mayroon itong sariling kuwento.

Face Your Demons, Laugh Like Hell

Someday, you will be facing ‘that’ monster– your demon. The one that is famously called “that thing beneath your bed.” But in reality, the monster isn’t under your bed. Or in your closet. Or behind the curtains. Because it resides in a  place that no one has ever explored to but you.

It resides in your heart. 


All throughout your life– unconsciously– you are feeding this demon with fears and insecurities. By doing so, it has become a parasite eating your fright’s carcasses. And in the bottommost of your heart, it continues to lurk. And it breeds. And it grows.

But most of all, it is silently waiting. Awaiting the day when you are in your most vulnerable state– the moment when you are weak and off guard. This will be the day that your demon will face you. And when that day comes, it will grab you in your neck. Consume you. And devour you. 

Surprisingly, that is also the day you will realize that you have made a creature who will mercilessly annihilate your dreams. Your passion. Your happiness. But that will also be the day that you will have to make a choice. So when that day comes, when you have to face that monster who surfaces from the bottomest of your heart, do not ever, ever face it weak.


How so? How can you not be weak when that day arrives? Simple. Vomit your fears. Do not doubt your ability. Go bungee jumping. Conquer a mountain. Step up. Ask her out for a date. Learn the piano. Forget what people say if you want to wear that crappy hat.

And when the demon stands in front of you, deliver him to hell.