Eureka on Dad’s Notebook

Proposition:  my joy,

Since i could not avail myself with any opportunity i then could only writtenly express myself to you… for occasion seems to be hostile to the intention which i have longed to impart.  Also, sometimes a feeling of hesitation comes within me for i could foresee the consequences of this revelation, if, by chance, you’ll take this act of mine as a mere joke of my love ventures.  Nevertheless, to keep this instinctive emotion only by myself will no doubt lead me to nowhere.

In the past years of my life, never have i known a person of such character as you have.  i’m very proud to have met a person like you.  In a manner of speaking, it seems to me that i have already known you for a very long period of time, even if we have met and have known each other for only a short period, ago.

…it may be surprising but i think i’m in love with you… i don’t just think that i am in love with you but i know and i am certain that i do.  this must be surprising to you, but it surprised me also when i came to think that i was missing you than what i shoud have felt naturally.

Very surprising indeed.  But isn’t love very noble? to fall in love is not to like someone for her brains or beauty alone but it is in its true sense – self giving which is primarily based on trust and understanding.

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**This is composed by my Dad, probably, when he was on his teenage years. I guess nineteen years of age or probably early twenties. I really do not know. Grammars are not edited to preserve originality of what my Dad wanted to express to the recipient/s of this letter. I found his notebook while cleaning the house years ago.. Didn’t tell him about it and up until now, I claimed it to be my possession. He probably didn’t know until today that I do have his three notebooks, and I am not going to tell him anyway. It was weird, back teenage years, I also do not capitalize my ‘I’ when writing.. And yes, this isn’t a letter for my Mom. I asked Mom if this was for hers, she said it’s not. She said it’s for my Dad’s ex. Mom’s answer is without jealousy and envy.. So probably, that’s what love is. Self giving, trust and understanding.

Roulette Generated Thoughts: Standing Over an Indelible Line Between Two Abstract Concepts

Huwag ka mag-alala, gagamitin ko ang wikang bernakular at sasamahan ko pa ito ng mga pang-araw araw na nakakasalamuhang pananalita tulad ng rawk en rol, astig, pakernut at kung anu-ano pang slung werds. Gusto ko kasing maging seryoso ang mga magbabasa nito at kung ano nga ba talaga ang magiging all-out comments nila sa seryosong usapan kung gagamitan ko ito ng pabalbal na lengguwahe. Ubusan na ito ng chakra sa pag eesplika ng kung ano ba talaga ang kayang sabihin ng mga blognism na dumadalaw sa mundo ko.

Roulette generated thoughts: standing over an indelible line between two abstract concepts. Pag-uusapan natin ang mga ideyang naka stock lang sa aking entorhinal cortex na inaagiw na ng panahon. Hindi ko alam kung cheverloo lang na nakasabit sa kisame ng aking utak pero.. mapupunta ang usapan natin sa hindi mapapawing linya sa pagitan ng dalawang bagay.

Ang tanong, paano mo ihihiwalay ang dalawang abstract concepts? Dalawang aspects of existence na sobrang garbo at kumplikado.. Hindi ito chenez lang. Hindi ito emo. At lalong hindi ito imaginary topic. Sisimulan ko na.

Love and Friendship

Pag-Ibig at Pagkakaibigan. Parehong malawak. Dalawang ideya na hindi natin kailangan ikunsulta sa diksyunaryo para maintindihan. Ineffability. Dalawang bagay na hindi natin kailangan i-define sa pamamagitan ng pananalita o sa kahit anong general language. Ikukunsiderang taboo ang paggawa ng software of emotions para sa isang robot. Kahit anong bangis ng pagpapaliwanag mo ng konsepto ng love at friendship sa isang virtual o mechanical artificial agent, hindi ka nito maiintindihan.

Eto ang catch. Ano ang naghihiwalay sa Eros Love at Simpleng Platonic Friendship? Paano mo ididistinguish na kaibigan mo pa rin siya o iba na talaga ang nararamdaman mo? Pwede ka na gumamit ng mga phrases na level-up, XP, o to the highest level. Kumbaga sa farmgame, may ibang halaman ka ng pwedeng itanim. Mga gulay na ang bunga ay heart shape.

Madali lang malaman ang pagkakaiba. Ang mahirap na parte ay yung hindi mo na mapigilan at natotorete ka na sa kakaisip ng kung ano anong gimik ang gagawin mo. Sa akin lang naman, pag handa ka ng ipagtapat yan, either you gain or lose that certain someone. Nasa sa iyo yan. Depende yan sa taktika na gagamitin mo. Bakit hindi mo patagalin. Baka naman outburst of emotions lang yan dahil nagtapat siya ng problema niya sa’yo. Ang totoo, hindi ako sigurado kung sa pagitan ng love at friendship ay may tinatawag pang isang emosyon na pwede nating gamitin sa maaaring nararamdaman ng isang tao. Parang ganito, ngayong araw na ito in lurve ka pero hindi ka naman talaga in lurve sa taong yun. Natutuwa ka lang. Tapos next day sasabihin mo, chika lang yun!

Naniniwala ako na matatagalan bago mo mapatunayan na mahal mo ang isang tao. Hindi ka dapat magpadalos dalos. Huwag kang sumugod sa Soul Society para magtalaga ng digmaan sa mga Soul Reapers. At gaya ng sinabi ko, hindi mo kailangan ng thesaurus o encyclopedia para malaman kung ano ba ang sinasabi ng iyong limbic system. Pero baka mali rin ako. Baka lahat ng sinabi ko ay walang katotohanan.

Kung hihingi ka ng advice sa akin gamit ang comment section, hindi kita pagbibigyan sa dalawang rason. Una, maraming klase ng sitwasyon na pwedeng hindi angkop ang kung anuman ang isasagot ko sa sitwasyon na kinsasangkutan mo. Pangalawa, me ganown? Ay ateh, hindi ako si Papa Jack. Tumawag ka sa numerong blah blah blah at ikunsulta kung bakit dapat ka ng makipaghiwalay sa boypren/gelpren mo.

Bang. Bang.

Sanity and Insanity

Er. Gusto ko sana i-discuss ang ineffaceable division ng aking pananaw between sanity and insanity kaso tinatamad na ako.

Funny Ways and One Karma

let’s talk about man’s  funny ways and this karmanic universe!

let me share you a story about a writer.

this writer fell in love. he fell in love with a girl-from-another-town. so every minute, he writes poems and letters. he would write about the clouds. he would storytell his bittersweet experiences. he would compose essays of affection. he would create katagas and love songs. he would write it on a piece of paper and would mail it to the girl-from-another-town.

everyday, the writer awaits the mailman and would instruct the mailman to give his letters to the girl-from-another-town.

the mailman is good and kind. and he would always do what the writer would tell him. he would always give the writer’s letter to the girl-from-another-town. 

and so, the girl from another town would also write letters for the writer. she will send this through the mailman.

but after some months, the girl-from-another-town stopped writing to the writer.

the writer, still hopeful, would wait for the mailman if he has any letters. but he would always has none. the writer then heard the news that the girl-from-another-town fell in love with the mailman who brings the writer’s letters.

funny? sad?

—

i heard this story long ago. but thinking about it, i can’t seem to storytell it to you guys.