Wander To the Moon and Back

I would turn on the radio, search for a classical or a mellow station. I would close the lights and lie on my bed. I would look into the ceiling until my mind travels somewhere place. Slowly, ‘that’ part of me is drifting away. Wandering aimlessly to a portion of space. Whatever surrounding me becomes intangible. The light and darkness and every colors become haste. Then a phantasm of surreal objects emerges. Time ticking and I no longer hear the music.. I no longer feel my bed.. I was drawn-out away from my room.


I am Nowhere.

Believe me, when you are already on that ‘nowhere place,’ it’s dang hard coming back to reality. But why would you dare escape a realm so serene and pacific? For a minute, I won’t allow myself to leave that enchanted place.

But for another minute, I will argue with myself.

I have to get back to my reality, as this place was not meant to be mine. I shouldn’t even be here in the first place. Little by little, it becomes dark. Slowly, I would feel my back lying on my bed. The volume of the radio getting clearer.. Coming back into my senses, I would realize I am on that familiar place, my bedroom.

I would find myself staring at the ceiling.. and I’ll ask myself again for the thousandth times, ‘why did I return?’


Are There People Like Me Out There

Dear Mr. Nonsense:

One windy afternoon of November 28, 1996, while I was holding a bunch of newspapers, I felt an electric-tingling sensation on my hands. I got dizzy for some seconds and almost fell on the floor. The next thing I knew, all the newspapers I am grasping started to burn. Cloaked in shocked, I threw them away at once. The papers were completely burned leaving ashes on the floor. That is my first experience of a defied-law-of-physics phenomenon. Yes. There was nothing to trigger the fire. No air substance and no friction force to combust and inflame the papers.

It was weird. It was cool. And I am just 10 years of age that time.

I thought that that would be the last bizarre thing that will happen in my life not until I reached sixth grade. On my 12th birthday, I was able to burn trees. Those trees are dang alive literally. They change places.  They could speak. And they are going to kill me. The trees’ roots were able to pierce the ground cutting whatever is standing above its confined territory. I gawk at one tree and a root penetrated through the soil. I was able to dodge the attack but it cut through my left shoulder. I was frightened. I was in total fear. I felt the ground is shaking and I knew more roots are going to cut and slash me.  If those roots come up again, there is no possibility that I will survive the attack. I looked at the trees again, I wish for a moment that they would disappear. I hope that someone would vanquish them.  I want them to leave me alone.

I stared at the trees with terror in my eyes. Then I looked at my own blood, and glanced back at the trees again.

I glanced back– wanting the trees to vanish. Vanish in an instant. And much to my surprise, they began to burn. They are being flamed and the fire seems like a parasite eating up those creatures. I could hear the trees screamed with echo roaming the forest.  

Then comes total silence. And their ashes were woven by the wind.

I know. I burned those trees by merely looking at them. But what matter most is that I am saved.. but for this time only. Still, I was confused, disheveled.


All I am certain is that I am scared of my newfound power.

I remain,

The Will of the Wind Radio Request

Umaga na! Parang isang fairy tale lang ang araw na’to. Nagising ako na sobrang ecstatic ang pakiramdam at kasabay nang pagbangon ko ay ang pagbati ng deejay ng isang radio station. Dinig na dinig mula sa kwarto ko ang dagundong ng radyo ng kapitbahay namin habang ang kanyang caller ay nagrerequest ng kanta–pagkababa na pagkababa ng telepono ng caller ay pinatugtog kaagad ng istasyon ang The Will of the Wind ni Jim Photoglo. Nagsuklay kaagad ako ng buhok at lumabas ng bahay habang kumakain ng cookies.

Humangin nang malakas.. nagulo ang buhok ko. Okay lang, masarap naman ang dampi ng hangin sa mukha ko.

The will of the wind, you feel it and then,
It will pass you blowing steady.
It comes and it goes, and God only knows,
You must keep your sails on ready.
So when it begins, get all that you can;
You must befriend the will of the wind.

Pagkatapos kong mag-internet, naligo na ako. Nag-gel. Matagal akong nakaharap sa salamin para ayusin ang aking hairstyle. Hm, pumunta ako sa sink para buhusan ulit ng tubig ang buhok ko. Napagdesisyunan ko na lagyan na lang ng baby oil ang buhok ko. Umalis ako ng bahay para pumasok sa opisina nang masaya. Naglakad ako sa mahabang kalye ng Biyoleta. Humangin. Pakiramdam ko ay gumagawa lang ako ng music video.

Ngunit humangin pa ulit nang malakas at nagulo ang buhok ko bago pa man ako makasakay sa isang public utility carrier. Yes, alam ko. Buwakangligaw lang dahil pinagtitinginan ng mga pasahero ang magulo kong buhok. Umupo ako sa tabi ng drayber at inayos ang sarili ko. Pumikit ako at hinawi ang buhok ko pakanan.  

Nakarating ako sa opisina nang masaya.

Breaktime. Lumabas kami ng building para bumili ng pagkain. Humangin ulit na parang may tinotorture na palaka sa paligid. Nagulo ulit ang buhok ko pero ayos lang dahil chicken naman ang nabili kong pagkain. You know, fried chicken ‘yun eh.  Fried chicken! Sinong nilalang ang magkakaroon ng tantrums kung nakahain sa kanyang harapan ang isang crispy fried chicken?  Ha?  Sino?!  

Masaya akong nagbreaktime. 

Natapos ang araw ng trabaho. Uwian time. Paglabas na paglabas ko pa lang ng building, parang may ipoipo na naghihintay sa akin. Nagulo ulit ang buhok ko–at hindi ko alam kung mamumukhaan ko pa ang sarili ko kapag humarap ako sa salamin. Nagtawanan ang mga opismate ko.

Pakernut na kantang The Will of the Wind ‘yan.

Bukas magre-request ako ng No Air ni Jordin Sparks at Chris Brown sa parehong radio station na napakinggan ko kaninang umaga. Lintik ang walang ganti!