I would turn on the radio, search for a classical or a mellow station. I would close the lights and lie on my bed. I would look into the ceiling until my mind travels somewhere place. Slowly, ‘that’ part of me is drifting away. Wandering aimlessly to a portion of space. Whatever surrounding me becomes intangible. The light and darkness and every colors become haste. Then a phantasm of surreal objects emerges. Time ticking and I no longer hear the music.. I no longer feel my bed.. I was drawn-out away from my room.
I am Nowhere.
Believe me, when you are already on that ‘nowhere place,’ it’s dang hard coming back to reality. But why would you dare escape a realm so serene and pacific? For a minute, I won’t allow myself to leave that enchanted place.
But for another minute, I will argue with myself.
I have to get back to my reality, as this place was not meant to be mine. I shouldn’t even be here in the first place. Little by little, it becomes dark. Slowly, I would feel my back lying on my bed. The volume of the radio getting clearer.. Coming back into my senses, I would realize I am on that familiar place, my bedroom.
I would find myself staring at the ceiling.. and I’ll ask myself again for the thousandth times, ‘why did I return?’
Akso Rojas 