You’re a Big Fish in the Ocean; But Down There, I am a Kraken

The aquarium’s secret has been unraveled. And this is the very reason why my fishes are blind. Someone of their own kind has started the trend of cannibalism. For one moment, it’s cool. But then again, just for one moment.

Yes, I’ve been in a limbo for a long time.

Probably because I am productive at some things [offline mode].  And with that, I can say that I have done a lot lately, which makes me [my past self] proud.

The past three weeks, I was able to finish my ninja missions (of which at one point I thought of giving up). T’was an S-class mission with an S-class reward [fulfillment, I mean]. No, no, it does not include theft or murder. It is a high-profile freelance writing which includes interview with the CEO, head supervisors, and managers. Plus, I had to work at my main job for eight hours and then work for another company on my free time. Looking back, I was kind of hesitant to accept the job– but my friends pushed me to do it. Fauxx is right. If I would not accept this kind of job, it would be harder for me to accept any jobs in the future. 

And now it’s done!

Also, I was able to pay all my debts just this week. I paid my 16K-debt allotted to three different persons.  And while you read this, I’m starting anew. And I promised myself to save some money and invest for good things.  And for that, it’s a celebration! 

Moreover, I’m not on idle mode (just because I am not posting things here). Little by little, I am cleaning this website. The search for What-I-Want-To-Write had ended. I started deleting some stuff here. I did grammar check, change, and alter some photos. I am also sticking with the self-reflect/literary/sound-blog/photoblog to put here. I’ll be starting a make-over for this website soon. I am also in the propensity of deleting my blog links at the Webs and Spiders.  So if it’s backlinks you are after for this website, you may remove mine from yours ‘cause I have nothing to offer for you here.

I also tidied my room. Ugh. It’s not as clean as I want it to be but I was able to trash stuff that are no longer needed.

Right now, I have four stickers on my Greenwich Eheads coupon. I’ll be completing this on the 26th and, hopefully, I will have my Eheads collection by that time. Eating this much pizza had cost me some 2,5K plus, and it’s alright. I love pizza anyway.

Hey, come on! I have also done one amusing thing. I composed a letter to my “future self” which would be delivered to me on September 21, 2011. I hope I can still get there. It’s fun; writing myself a letter to be delivered into the future.

Ho! This feels good. Everything feels good!  Better than obtaining a new shirt or finishing the PvZ adventure mode.

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Fauxx Won P580,000.00

It was morning and I have not had my breakfast and running late for school. When all of a sudden…

*TU-TU-TUT TOOO TOOOT TU-TU-TUT* Text Messagea!

UNKNOWN NUMBER:
(Notice ur simcrd # won P580,000.00 in our 2nd Anv, PreRaffle Draw Last: 06/08/09
Frm: Millionaires Club Inc. 4 more info @dtails, Pls. Call me nw! I’m Sec HENRY G. LOPEZ.”

I thought to myself, “THIS IS IT!!! IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!! I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL THESE TIME!!!”.

Conversation went something like this: (Note: sayang nabura yung mga nireply ko, pero yung “secretary” eh ganun yung sinulat. Inaalala ko lang mga nireply ko sa kanya.)

UNKNOWN NUMBER:
(Notice ur simcrd # won 580,000.00 in our 2nd Anv, PreRaffle Draw Last: 06/08/09
Frm: Millionaires Club Inc. 4 more info @dtails, Pls. Call me nw! I’m Sec HENRY G. LOPEZ.”

FAUXX:
NANALO PO BA AKO PANO KO MAKUHA PRIZE KO TXTBACK PLS
(Dapat all caps at walang punctuation. Para magmukha talagang gullible. At tipong uulitin lahat ng text na tinext sa kanya)

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Plz call me nw!
(letter “o” na nga lang, kuripot pa)

FAUXX:
THX PO SIR. HANAP LANG PO ME NG FONE THX PUPUNTA PO BA AKO MANILA D2 PO ME LGAJE TXTBAK ASAP
(Wala ka bang hawak na phone? Hindi ko rin alam kung nasan ang “Lagaje”)

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Twg poh kau para mlaman nyo poh ok.
(uyyy gustong marinig boses ko… siguro para malaman nya kung kaya nya akong mauto)

FAUXX:
WAIT PO SIR HANAP ME NG FONE. SIR BAKA FAKE U HA. LOPES DIN PO AKO HEHEHE 🙂

(kailangan ng pambobola… ganun kase ang character na ginaganap ko. Hahaha. At syempre, yung parehas na apelyido para talagang probinsyano)

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Nasa inyo npoh yAn kng hndi kau 2mwg hindi nMan kau pliten salamt laxt txt kna poh ito god bless you.
(tigas ng mukha neto god bless you pa raw)

FAUXX:
SORY PO SIR COL PO TALAGA ME. PA LOD LNG PO ME D2 PO KASE ME MOTEL IM NOEL NGA PO PALA. 🙂
(humble syempre. At dito na natin makikilala si Noel na nasa motel. Bakit? Malalaman nyo mamaya.)

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Plz call me nw.

*called him, rung once then drop*

NOEL LOPEZ:
SIR BAKIT DI PO U SAGOT NG FONE BUSY PO BA U> TWAG PO AKO L8R
(Pababa na kase ako ng MRT dito at si “Noel” dapat ayaw pa istorbo…)

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Plz call me back again right nw.
(ano bang problema neto at gustong gustong tawagan sya)

NOEL LOPEZ:
SIR TXT KO NA LANG PO ADDRESS KO OK
(address ka ng address jan ok)

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Twg poh kau ulit ok.
(ay ang kulet ok)

*call again*

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Bkt plage lang kau mzcoll ha twg kau ok.
(nakakahalata ka na ba? lol)

NOEL LOPEZ:
TAWAG PO AKO SA FONE NG BF KO SIRA FONE KO KSE OK LNG PO BA?
(At eto na… nagkaroon na ng bf si Noel Lopes)

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Ok poh.
(siguro naisip neto, “teka, anong bf??”)

NOEL LOPEZ:
WAIT SIR PA LOD LNG PO BF KO 5th FLOOR PO KASE KME D2. WAIT LNG PO THNX. GAY PO ME SIR HA 🙂
(At nagladlad na rin ang hitad~ 5th floor pa? hahahaha)

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Twg npoh kau ok.

NOEL LOPEZ:
DI PA PO BUMABALIK BHEBHE KO EH 😦 JZ WAIT LANG PO OK BAKA PO GALIT SYA KASE ME GINAGAWA KME EH HEHEHE
(Tawa na ako ng tawa sa jeep neto. Galit kase maraming istorbo~!)

*After Nat Sci I class*

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Bkt hndi pa poh kau npa twg.
(uyy curious ka?)

NOEL LOPEZ:
WALA PA PO BHEBHE KO EH. TEKA MAGBIHIS PO MUNA AKO
(Ayown nagbihis)

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Mag sbe lng poh kau na hndi kau mka twg para hndi aq mag hntay d2 laxt txt kna poh ito salamt.
(Hahahaha chillax lang. 😀 )

NOEL LOPEZ:
SIR UTANG NA LANG PO KAYO SA PRICE KO PANG LOD. 10 PESOS LNG PO HA PLZ TAPOS COL ME THX
(kuripot na millionaire na to)

HENRY G. LOPEZ:
Wag na bka virusan pa kta.

Tapos, tsaka ko na inasar nang inasar. Heheheh.

Kung gusto nyong manalo ng 580,000.00 tawag lang kayo sa numero niya bilang 09055982660.


**I again tried calling the said number. Pero mukhang naka off or worse, tinanggal na ng Globe yang number na yan sa system nila. Paano ba naman ang mga kaibigan ni Fauxx tinext (287x) yung number na yan at ginulo ang buhay ni Mr. Henry G. Lopez. Hehe. Well, experience pala yan ng kaibigan kong si Fauxx na idol ko rin sa pagsusulat– kaso nga lang mas magaling siya mag-English kaya nando’n siya sa English newspaper (Epistle and the Clarion) namin. At ako ay nasa Filipino newspaper (Ang Haraya) XD

Bakit Mas Mahaba ang kay Kuya

(This article by Akso Rojas won BlogSikat (english trans. BlogFamous) in Saranggola Blog Awards 1999.)

Mahaba ang gabi. Pumipikit. Padilim nang padilim!

Paunti-unting nasisilaw ang aking mga mata nakapikit man ang mga ito. Umaga na pala. Kailangan nang bumangon ng isang bata. Ako si Kaito, limang taong gulang, at paborito ko ang araw ng Sabado!

Bumangon na si Kuya kaya bumangon na rin ako! Sinundan ko si kuya papunta sa palikuran at kitang kita ko–mas mahaba ang kay kuya! Nagtaka ako kung bakit mahaba ang kay kuya kumpara sa akin. Bakit mas mahaba ang toothbrush niya? Pero masaya pa rin ako dahil magkasabay kaming nagtoothbrush ni kuya, paramihan kami ng bula at paputian ng ipin.

Kainan na! Ang aking baso na puno ng gatas at ang aking pinggan na mayroong tinapay! Kakainin ko na ang aking tinapay nang mapansin kong bakit mas mahaba yung tinapay ni Kuya? Oo, sinukat ko! Napakadaya naman. Napakarami kong gutom ngunit mas mahaba pa rin ‘yung kay Kuya. Pero nagdasal pa rin ako dahil mayroon kaming pagkain ni Kuya.

Tinawag ako ng mga kapitbahay ko! Maglalaro daw kami ng tagu-taguan. Saan kaya ako magtatago? Ah! Alam ko na. Magtatago ako sa likod ng bakod namin nang makita ko si Kuya habang naglalaro sila ng basketbol. Gusto ko na tuloy maglaro ng basketbol para magkakampi kami ni kuya.

“Boom Kaito!”

Yay. Hindi ko namalayan na naghahanapan na pala.

Ngunit tinawag ako ni Mommy. Sabi ni Mommy, “Kaito, kailangan mo na mag-aral kung paano magbasa.” Bakit ganun? Mas mahaba ang oras ng paglalaro ni Kuya. Bakit ako na maliit ay kailangan pa mag-aral? Ayoko na nga magtagu-taguan o mag-langit lupa. Ayoko na rin kumain ng tinapay. Ayoko na rin magtoothbrush. Bakit lagi na lang si Kuya ang pinapaboran?

“Mommy, bakit mas mahaba ang toothbrush ni Kuya?”

“Kaito, kase mas matanda si Kuya kaysa sa iyo.”

“Daddy, bakit mas mahaba ‘yung tinapay ni Kuya?”

“Alam mo Kaito, mas malaki si Kuya kaya kailangan niya ng mas maraming pagkain!”

Ganoon ba ang sukatan? Kapag mas malaki at mas matanda, mas mahaba na ang kay Kuya? Ganito ba talaga ang tunay na buhay.. Nakakalungkot naman na sa ganitong paraan ko napagtanto ang bawat bagay. Hindi ba pantay ang pagmamahal ni Daddy at ni Mommy sa akin at kay Kuya. Siguro nga mas mahaba ang kanilang pag-aalala kay Kuya kaysa sa akin.

Nakatitig ako sa bintana namin at dumating si Kuya.

“Bakit ka malungkot, Kaito?”

“Eh kase, mas mahaba ang toothbrush mo. Mas mahaba ang tinapay mo. Mas mahaba ang oras mo ng paglalaro. Mas mahal ka nila Mommy at Daddy.”

Inakbayan ako ni kuya. Tumatawa. Napabuntong-hininga.

“Kumuha ka ng diyaryo, ng walis tingting. Kukuha ako ng pisi at ng pandikit.”

At kinuha ko ang mga sinabi ni Kuya. Dalawang pisi ang kinuha niya. Ang isa ay mas mahaba at ang isa naman ay mas maikli. Siguro sa akin ‘yung mas maikli.

Tinititigan ko si Kuya habang nagmamaniobra ng mga papel. Ang galing galing niya kahit hindi ko alam kung ano ang ginagawa niya. Para siyang inhinyero.

“Kaito, tapos na! Tera, pumunta tayo sa labas at paliparin natin itong mga ‘to. Heto ang sa iyo. Mas mahaba ang pisi na gagamitin mo. Eto ang sa akin, maikli lang.”

“Kuya, bakit?” ng may halong pagtataka. “Bakit mas mahaba ang pisi ko kaysa sa iyo?”

“Mas mahaba ang sa iyo para makarating ito ng langit! Kaito, tera na. Paliparin na natin itong mga saranggola,” napatigil siya at nagwika, “Kaito, ako ang Kuya mo. Mas malaki ako at mas matanda ako sa iyo. Kung mahaba ang pagmamahal mo sa akin, mas mahaba ang pagmamahal ko sa iyo. Bilang Kuya, aalagaan kita at proprotektahan kita. Pag ikaw ay naging kuya na rin, gagawin mo rin ito ha.”

Stardust

By Fauxx

In ships, they would turn off the lights at night on the bridge, the place where the captain navigates. That’s why the whole place is usually dark. Being a young boy then, I thought, “Why would anybody turn the lights off and grope in the dark while you navigate a huge ship?”

Is that faith?

Not really. But I learned that one of the reasons is for the crew to see other ships ahead with their lights, or the lighthouses, so they know how far away the land is. The darker it becomes, the brighter the lights.

The clearer it is to know where the ship is and where it is going.

There is a nugget of wisdom from that. Especially when you are cruising in the darkest moments of your journey.

Also, If you ever find yourself in a ship at night time, go to that dark place and try to look up. On a cloudless sky, you will see stars. It is vastly different from the stars and the sky we have in the city. The city has gone too bright and it kills the light of the faintest of stars.

At sea, these specks of light, the brightest and the less conspicuous, literally twinkle; and are literally innumerable. At that moment the twinkling star concept comes out of the metaphor of books and hallmark cards and you realize their meaning.

Somehow you would begin to understand why people in the ancient times marvel at the celestial sky. This is one of the reason why I enjoy travelling by sea and maybe the reason still why people then didn’t need a TV.

Do you know that even though light travels at the fastest immeasurable speed humans have speculated, it would still take millions of years for the light of the nearest stars to reach our planet?

Think about it, even if one star changes from supernova to white dwarf, (feel free to correct my literal astronomical lapses) it would take many years for us to see it. The very stars that we may be looking at right now may have been long gone many million years ago… they are just bright phantoms of their glorious shining moments.

And technically, when we gaze up, we are looking back in time.

Time.

Short of being true or otherwise, I dread the upcoming days.

I do not intend to go back in time, but I do want it to freeze… even for a moment. And breathe in each second. Maybe make something out of them, like what people did with the stars. Map out my own constellations from the stars of distant past memories and moments. And maybe take a souvenir from each.

Everything was made beautiful. Fearfully and wonderfully made, one way or another.

—–

Stardust originated from stars like a souvenir from what they might have been before. But in the end, gathering stardust is still gathering dust.

—–

The guy who illegally owned the name Fauxx is the author of the unpublished psychograph. He sprinkles courage to other players when playing Bluff, a card game. While I am the literary editor of our Filipino newspaper back in high school, Fauxx is one of the editors in our English Newspaper 😀

Face Your Demons, Laugh Like Hell

Someday, you will be facing ‘that’ monster– your demon. The one that is famously called “that thing beneath your bed.” But in reality, the monster isn’t under your bed. Or in your closet. Or behind the curtains. Because it resides in a  place that no one has ever explored to but you.

It resides in your heart. 

 

All throughout your life– unconsciously– you are feeding this demon with fears and insecurities. By doing so, it has become a parasite eating your fright’s carcasses. And in the bottommost of your heart, it continues to lurk. And it breeds. And it grows.

But most of all, it is silently waiting. Awaiting the day when you are in your most vulnerable state– the moment when you are weak and off guard. This will be the day that your demon will face you. And when that day comes, it will grab you in your neck. Consume you. And devour you. 

Surprisingly, that is also the day you will realize that you have made a creature who will mercilessly annihilate your dreams. Your passion. Your happiness. But that will also be the day that you will have to make a choice. So when that day comes, when you have to face that monster who surfaces from the bottomest of your heart, do not ever, ever face it weak.

 

How so? How can you not be weak when that day arrives? Simple. Vomit your fears. Do not doubt your ability. Go bungee jumping. Conquer a mountain. Step up. Ask her out for a date. Learn the piano. Forget what people say if you want to wear that crappy hat.

And when the demon stands in front of you, deliver him to hell.