This is What’s Left on My Staggering Hope

I’m in a state of limbo. Pretty much ~and I am currently stuck in oblivion where I tend to forget about the things that would make me worry.

I’ve been writing a lot of things about constellations and clouds. Hell, I am trying to reach the 70-page quota, I promised myself, before the end of the semester. But this isn’t working.

~I’m being drowned in the sea of writer’s block and tides of separation anxiety disorder and insecurities.

And I may not appear like what I am feeling right now, but you wouldn’t care anyhow.

There are some blurred parts these past few weeks and I can’t even manage to fix my writing habits with regards to the deadline I did set for myself. I would try to write and take away all distractions ~but in the middle of the night I will find myself watching porn instead of doing my assignments. And then, there is this one time that I have gathered all the courage to start writing again ~I somehow pulled off a few good paragraphs ~but then again, I wasn’t able to finish a stand-alone story.

I may be a little too harsh on myself this time ~but, please, let me disassociate myself with everyone.

I will take a suicide pact with this persona who is parasitically eating much of my ideas. I won’t be posting much in this blog like what I used to do. Yes ~it’s a defeat. A fail. A manifestation of disappointment.

It sure is disheartening on my part.

While I know that most of my readers don’t give a single shit about this random rant, I still apologize to my heart’s content. I swear I tried. I have come to war against writer’s block ~and had a decent stroke of my sword slash pen.

I probably loss a limb, had a few shot of arrows and lost ~but I swear I had a good fight in the battlefield.

But still, I apologize.

Post Script:

I actually don’t know when I’ll be coming back ~let me finish first the things I should have long done. And while you wait for some crappy literary pieces ~from this moment henceforth, I can only afford to post some of my crappy photos with a one-liner or two. And this photos include but is not limited to vanity shots, foolish homemade memes and some artsy-fartsy pictures.

More pathetically post script:

It’s weird because I owe you nothing yet I am apologizing. ~Just think of this as a celebrity’s reply because he failed the drug test.

Some shitty additions:

50 more pages won’t be long though.

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20 thoughts on “This is What’s Left on My Staggering Hope

  1. Your shots aren’t bad… at all (and who am I being a useless office wh*re say that). Photo blogging is much than words could describe and if I have a decent camera, I will as well.

    This is your site and you can do whatever you wanted & your readers will still stomach that. 😛

    Like

  2. I once came to the point where I stopped caring. For everything; my readers, developing my writing skills, the people I inspire, the people I infuriate with my posts. Everything. It all comes back to the reason why I started writing, it was then that I realize I express more of myself when I do not think about trying to come up with something for others to read or for myself to feel fulfilled.

    Baka mag work din sayo. Sa tingin ko I’m past the stage where I need validation from other people that I can write. Kaya nagsusulat nalang ako for a few people, for myself and my closest friends. 🙂 At masarap sya sa pakiramdam. 🙂

    Like

    1. Thanks for that JC. But my problem lies on my offline activities. Hoho. I don’t really care what other people’s shit about this blog. I am actually disappointed that I won’t be able to finish a 70-page sort of research about constellations and clouds. ~and that is why I need to allocate lesser time doing artics for this blog and I must stop lurking the social networks.

      I have to make another 50 pages ~writings about outer space, comets, and skies. I have to finish this thing before June.

      I can do this.

      Like

      1. Ah okay. Hindi ko na gets sa sinulat mo. Haha.

        Kase andami dami namang pwedeng topic baket constellations pa. Hanggang ngayon may sama ng loob paren ako sa nag imbento ng constellations. Jusmiyo, kaya ko nga i drowing si Mario malabs sa stars tas tatawagin kong..

        Constellation True Love.

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        1. Honga, nadagdagan pa ng consellations kaya nag-iba tuloy yung taong fated for me. Hutang~hena. Hoho.

          Yep, isulat mo at pagdugtungdugtungin yung mga stars at bumuo ka ng pangalan. Hoho.

          Teka ~bat ganun yung blog mo?

          Like

  3. Ganyan din ako parang nagyelo na utak ko, may draft ako 3 weeks na ata pero d ko pa alam paano tatapusin…sana may mapiga pa at sana sipagin na akong magtype! In shalla!

    Nakita ko yung mga pics mo sa fb, nakakaaliw 🙂 waiting mode akesh sa mga ipopost mo here 🙂

    Like

    1. Hoho. Salamat, nakow, yung mga photos na ilalagay ko, medyo nagdadalawang isip pa ako kase baka i-ban ng hosting service ko ‘tong blog ko. Medyo may pagkamahalay kase yung iba. Yay!

      Brr.

      Like

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